


Emotion

by cajynn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 16:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20745137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cajynn/pseuds/cajynn
Summary: Despite what others may say, Ushijima Wakatoshi was not an emotionless man. He was passionate about volleyball. He felt the same elation as his teammates after a win, the same frustration after a loss. Most of the jokes his teammates made went over his head but that wasn’t to say he didn’t have a sense of humor. He laughed when he watched funny animal videos online, or when Reon told a particularly good joke. Once, he watched as Tendou made himself laugh so hard milk came out of nose, and Ushijima laughed until he cried. Ushijima may not have been good at expressing his emotions or talking about them, but he felt them nonetheless, just as strongly as anyone else.





	Emotion

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello Haikyuu!! fandom! This marks my first ever Haikyuu!! fic and my return from a nearly ten month long writing hiatus. It feels good to be back and writing for such a lovely ship and fun fandom <3
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this one!

Despite what others may say, Ushijima Wakatoshi was not an emotionless man. He was passionate about volleyball. He felt the same elation as his teammates after a win, the same frustration after a loss. Most of the jokes his teammates made went over his head but that wasn’t to say he didn’t have a sense of humor. He laughed when he watched funny animal videos online, or when Reon told a particularly good joke. Once, he watched as Tendou made himself laugh so hard milk came out of nose, and Ushijima laughed until he cried. Ushijima may not have been good at expressing his emotions or talking about them, but he felt them nonetheless, just as strongly as anyone else. 

Still, most people that met Ushijima in passing were convinced he had little to no emotion, mistaking his quiet, practical nature as rudeness or apathy. Even his teammates, who had learned to understand him after their years spent together, still found him a bit of a mystery. Everyone but Tendou. He was the one person in Ushijima’s life that he could count on to always know how he was feeling. No words needed to be exchanged between them, he just knew. 

He remembered the first day they met, lined up with other first years in the gym, introducing themselves to the rest of the team. They didn’t chat at all during that first practice. Coach Washijou didn’t cut any slack for the newcomers, expecting them to give their all from day one. But once lunch rolled around, Ushijima had found a quiet corner of the dining hall to sit. Truthfully he never minded eating alone. He never understood why it was seen as a bad thing. But that day, he only enjoyed a few minutes of solitude before Tendou came bounding over, lunch tray swaying precariously in his hand.

“Yo, Wakatoshi-kun!”

Ushijima glanced up from his food to look at Tendou and give a small nod in greeting. Tendou slid into the seat across from him, chatting animatedly about that morning’s practice.

“I can’t believe Washijou made us do so many laps for our first practice! Seriously it was so unfair. Still, it was incredible seeing the other members play. I can’t wait for our first practice match!”

The conversation continued, largely one sided as Tendou continued to talk about practice and the future of the team. Ushijima listened intently, doing his best to keep up with Tendou’s quick rambling. He enjoyed the company, and Tendou seemed happy to provide it. Most people at this point would have picked up on the fact that Ushijima had barely spoken a word. They would assume he didn’t want to talk and leave. But Tendou didn’t. He stayed. 

“Hey did you read the latest Shounen Jump?” Tendou asked suddenly, apparently moving on from volleyball entirely. 

Ushijima shook his head and offered a small “no” in response. 

“It’s so good! I’ll bring it tomorrow at lunch for you to read.”

Ushijima felt a warmth blossom in his chest. There would be a tomorrow.

Soon they had a routine, and it wasn’t long before their other teammates got dragged into it too. Ushijima was happy. He found a family here at Shiratorizawa, and he found his best friend. 

When Ushijima became a part of the starting lineup he felt pride. He accepted the honor with a deep bow and a sincere “thank you,” unsure how else to express his gratitude. But he didn’t miss the glares and snide remarks from some of his other teammates who didn’t make the cut. They thought that he wasn’t grateful. That he didn’t realize how lucky he was to have a starting position. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. 

Tendou, who hadn’t made the lineup this time around, though he showed promise, came up to congratulate him. 

“Congrats, Wakatoshi-kun! Looks like all your hard work is paying off.”

Ushijima was a little taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. He never expected Tendou to act rude towards him, they’d become fast friends after all. But Tendou looked as excited as he felt, and he knew in that moment Tendou understood. 

“And don’t you worry, I’ll be standing next to you on that court soon enough!” Tendou said with a smile. 

Ushijima smiled back, knowing full well that was a promise. 

Tendou made good on his promise by the end of their first year, and Ushijima couldn’t have been more excited. He knew that with his offense and Tendou’s defense, they were a force to be reckoned with. 

When they won their first official game together in their second year, Tendou celebrated loudly, jumping around the court and violently high fiving his teammates. Ushijima remained stoic on the outside, but he felt a fire pulsing through his veins and a pleasant tingle in his left hand. They were moving on. They would get to keep playing. 

He knew people would mistake his calm outer demeanor as conceitedness. They would think he wasn’t excited because he expected to win. This was partially true. He believed in his team’s abilities and based on the research they did on the other team this was a likely outcome. But every victory meant something. And Tendou knew this. 

“You look like you’re already itching for round two,” Tendou said as they walked off the court. 

“I am. I’m ready to keep moving forward.”

Now, at the start of his third year, new emotions flooded him, emotions he couldn’t quite put a name to. He noticed them when Tendou would drape himself over Ushijima in greeting, or in the locker room when Tendou’s shirt got stuck over his head, causing him to flail about comically. He noticed them when Tendou laughed, loud and unapologetic; when the sun shone brightly on his skin, illuminating his faint freckles. 

_Oh._

Ushijima panicked, another new emotion, when he realized he was in love with Tendou. There was no way he wouldn’t pick up on these feelings. Not when Tendou was so perceptive. Not when he’d been able to decipher Ushijima’s every mood since day one. Ushijima was doomed.

Ushijima’s first instinct was to avoid Tendou at lunch the day after his revelation, but when he saw him waving enthusiastically from across the dining hall, latest Shounen Jump edition in hand, his feet moved on their own accord. Semi sat beside Tendou, feigning annoyance as Tendou flung an arm around him. Ushijima took his usual seat across from them.

“Wakatoshi-kun! I brought you this week’s volume. I think there’s even a few extra ads just for you,” Tendou teased, sliding over the latest volume.

Ushijima accepted it wordlessly, heart pounding when their fingertips brushed. But if Tendou noticed the slight blush on his face he didn’t say anything. Lunch went on largely the same as it usually did. Tendou talked about his favorite parts from this week’s update. Semi yelled at Tendou when he nearly smacked him in the face after getting to excited about a particular chapter. For a few blissful moments, Ushijima felt like everything could just go back to normal.

That dream quickly shattered as practice rolled around. While Ushijima didn’t let his performance falter, he was definitely more distracted. His eyes were drawn to Tendou. He saw every spike Tendou blocked. He heard Tendou’s voice, teasing and loud, fill the court. He watched as Tendou wiped the sweat off his brow with the top of his shirt, exposing a small sliver of lean stomach. Ushijima nearly let out an undignified squeak but he managed to reign it in. He could have never hid something like that from Tendou. 

Practice seemed to drag on that day. When it ended, Ushijima was relieved. He quickly made his way to the locker room and changed, the first one out as always. Usually he waited for Tendou, but today he planned on going straight to his dorm, hoping to clear his head. But after a few minutes he heard footsteps running behind him, and in another moment there was a hand clasped around his shoulder.

“Did ya forget about me, Wakatoshi-kun?” Tendou asked, clearly out of breath.

“Ah, sorry. I’m just tired from today’s practice. I was going to go straight home and rest.” The lie felt clumsy on his tongue. 

Tendou thankfully didn’t seem to notice. “Today was brutal, wasn’t it! But you were on top of your game, as always. I would expect nothing less from our miracle boy Wakatoshi!” 

Ushijima’s heart fluttered. He’d always been fond of the nickname, but now it made him yearn for something more, something he wasn’t sure if he could have. Would Tendou even consider him in that way? He doesn’t think it would be something that would ruin their friendship, but he wouldn’t want to put Tendou in an awkward situation. Would Ushijima even be able to handle a blatant rejection? His thoughts began to race. 

“Hey what’s wrong?”

Tendou’s voice snapped him out of it. He looked at Ushijima with genuine concern, and he couldn’t bring himself to lie a second time. Though he certainly wasn’t about to tell the whole truth.

“I’ve been feeling… off lately. I’m sorry Tendou. I think I’d like to go back to my room now.”

Ushijima ignored the concerned and hurt look Tendou gives him and headed home.

Ushijima was not an emotionless man. Right now, he felt far too much. He felt unsure and anxious. He felt overwhelmed. He felt… wrong. Once he got to his dorm he shook his head and took a few calming breaths. He just needed to think this through rationally. He’d always taken a practical approach to life, and this should be no different. He needed to look at the facts. 

Fact number one. Tendou was important to him. He was his best friend and he shouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. Fact number two. He was in love with Tendou. Trying to push down those feelings would be pointless. He knew he couldn't control the way he felt. Fact number three. He could control how he acted. He could control how often he stared at Tendou. He could control his tone of voice and body language. Tendou had always been good at reading him, but if there was nothing to read, Ushijima was safe.

Now that he had a plan, Ushijima calmed down. He felt like a weight had been lifted and he could go about the rest of his day. He finished his homework, got ready for bed, and promised himself tomorrow would be better. 

The next day Tendou immediately cornered Ushijima before practice.

“Wakatoshi-kun! Is everything okay?”

Ushijima could tell Tendou was still worried. His behavior yesterday was very out of character. But he remembered his plan.

“I’m feeling much better today. I’m sorry if I worried you.” 

Tendou studied him for a moment, trying to determine if Ushijima was lying. A moment later he seemed to decided that wasn’t the case and gave him a genuine smile.

“Good!” Tendou punctuates his words with a firm pat to the back. “I know I’m not one to get super serious, but I hope you know you can talk to me about stuff. Or not, if that’s not your thing. But you’re my best friend, and I’ll be here for you.”

Ushijima smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime! Now, we better get ready for practice before coach makes us do extra laps for being late,” Tendou replied, dragging Ushijima towards the locker room.

Today would be better.

Life returned to normal, for the most part. Ushijima was still hopelessly in love with his best friend, and there were nights where he wanted nothing more than to be laying next to Tendou, holding him or running his hands through his hair. But he refused to let those feelings scare him away from being with Tendou altogether. So they continued to eat lunch together, walk to and from practice together, and study together. Life was good and Ushijima stuck to his plan. Until he didn’t.

One day after practice, Tendou came back to Ushijima’s dorm to do homework. They had only been working for about ten minutes before Tendou broke the silence as usual.

“Do you ever think about how nice it would be to be a lizard?” Tendou asked.

Ushijima didn’t respond at this point. Tendou often posed a strange question that Ushijima didn’t fully understand, but he knew an explanation would follow.

“Or any animal really, though lizards are super cool. But then we wouldn’t have to worry about homework ever again.” Tendou sighed dramatically and flopped down over his open textbook. 

“But if we were lizards we could never play volleyball again,” Ushijima responded, completely serious. He never understood any hypothetical that would involve him not playing volleyball.

Tendou laughed in response. A full belly laugh that brought tears to his eyes. Ushijima watched as Tendou doubled over on the floor, unable to contain his laughter. Ushijima didn’t understand why some of the things he said made Tendou laugh, but he knew Tendou wasn’t laughing _at_ him, so it didn’t bother him. Then, Tendou laughed so hard he let out a very loud, very unattractive snort. 

And in that moment Ushijima didn’t care about control. He didn’t care about hiding from Tendou or ruining their friendship. All he cared about was the fluttering in his chest and how beautiful Tendou looked when there was genuine joy on his face. He acted purely on instinct when he let the “I love you” slip from his lips and let it land on Tendou’s ears.

Tendou’s laughter abruptly died down and he stared at Ushijima, mouth agape and eyes wide. Ushijima’s heart hammered in his chest. He was desperate for Tendou to say something. Anything. Finally, Tendou broke the silence.

“Wakatoshi. Say it again.” Tendou’s voice was slightly breathy.

“I love you,” Ushijima said again without hesitation, and Tendou knocked him to the floor in an over enthusiastic hug. Their noses barely brushed, and Tendou stared straight into his eyes.

“One more time.”

“I love you.”

The last syllable was swallowed as their lips crashed together in a messy, awkward kiss. But to Ushijima it was perfect. He wrapped his arms around Tendou and pulled him closer, not daring to break the kiss. Eventually, they did pull apart for air, but Ushijima was quick to close the gap. This time he tilted his head slightly and caressed Tendou’s cheek. This kiss was less hurried. They took their time, tongues tentatively swiping against each other and sending sparks down Ushijima’s spine.

After what felt like an eternity, they parted again and sat up. Tendou rested his forehead against Ushijima’s and let out a small chuckle. 

“I’m not dreaming right? This is real?” Tendous voice sounded small and vulnerable. Completely uncharacteristic of him. 

Ushijima didn’t like that. He grabbed Tendou’s face in his hands and looked him right in the eye. “This is real.”

Tendou smiled wide and a little teary eyed, hugging Ushijima tightly.

Ushijima was not an emotionless man. Right now, he’d never felt more in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/cajynn/) and [tumblr](https://gambriz.tumblr.com)!


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